Tags: Food Establishments, Food Fare and Dishes, Food Products
By Leo Magno
TAGAYTAY CITY, CAVITE — I am a freak.
A hamburger freak, that is. I love hamburgers and have tried many of them in different forms in different places. I have tried a hamburger made of potatoes in India (Cows on the menu? Brahma forbid!). A three-pound burger in San Francisco. A hamburger made of tofu in Japan. A hamburger slobbered with wasabi. A lamb burger. Buy-one-take-one burgers on the sidewalk (Angel’s Burger, Scott Burger, Minute Burger — you name it). And yes, even — (gasp!) — Jolly Yum and Burger McDo.
This by no means, however, make me a culinary expert or a guru in the field of hamburger science. I am a mere fan. A fanatic. A humble servant to the Almighty Beef Patty. Which led me to pen a series of stories in pursuit of Monster Burgers.
This is the first of that series.
I am not on a quest for the bizarre or the implausible, such as the Krusty Krab’s Krabby Patty lovingly fried by Spongebob. Or the world biggest hamburger. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the largest commercially available hamburger is 74.75 kg (164.8 lbs) and costs US$399 on the menu at Mallie’s Sports Grill & Bar in Southgate, Michigan.
My objective is simple: Seek out hamburgers in the Philippines the combined patty weights of which exceed half a pound. Commercially available half-pounders out there like Wendy’s Baconator and McDonald’s Double Quarter Pounder are too — shall I say — “light” for me, and I weigh a mere 130 pounds. I generally graze (eating five times a day in small portions instead of three heavy meals a day) and eat like a bird, but I have a heavyweight appetite when it comes to burgers and burritos.
Thus it was natural for me to begin my quest at ArmyNavy Burger + Burrito in Tagaytay, right beside Yellow Cab Pizza (the two establishments are owned by the same person or persons). They have on the menu what fit my quest requirement — a burger whose patties are in excess of half a pound. It’s called the Bully Boy Burger, composed of three quarter-pound beef patties topped with crispy lettuce, tomato slices, onions, mayo and catsup on a toasted sesame seed Kaiser bun. At three-fourths of a pound (patties only), ArmyNavy says the Bully Boy is “made big to beef up a battalion.”
The establishment itself looks like a mess hall, true to its theme. You queue up at the order window made to look like a Quonset hut — a lightweight prefabricated structure of corrugated galvanized steel with a semicircular cross-section designed during World War I. Beyond the hut are rows of benches and tables al fresco with a great view of Taal Lake and the smaller of the cones in the volcanic area within the lake.
Sailors of the colonial navy had a daily menu of an elastic substance called beef bully, which is actually beef jerky. The term appeared so frequently on the messdeck that it naturally lent its name to the sailors who had to eat it. Taken from the dictionary meaning, a “bully boy” is an aggressive or pugnacious fellow, a hired thug or a goon. But Bully Boys, a term prominent in navy chants and poems, means in its strictest sense, beef eating.
Thus was born the three-quarter-pound Bully Boy Burger, and it set me back P235. They also have the classic quarter-pounder for P135 and a half-pounder for P185. There’s also the Steak Burrito for P155 which is also worth trying, but that’s another story.
So off to the “messdeck” we went to try the Bully Boy. It was bigger and heavier indeed compared to so-called “big” burgers at common fastfood establishments (Blogger LJ had the same observation), but one look at it after opening the foil wrapper and I knew the Bully would be easy to beat. Like a schoolkid accepting a challenge to a fight at the playground during lunch break, I cracked my knuckles and prepared to battle the Bully.
As soon as you pick it up you could tell how juicy it is with all that dripping going on down at the foil wrapper — from the fresh tomato, to the lettuce to the patties themselves. Not to worry — you can’t be a true burger devourer if you’re not prepared to get messy just a tad bit. And so opened my maw I did like Jaws welcoming to his gullet the hapless Quint, captain of the fishing boat Orca, played by Robert Shaw.
I was half-expecting the burger to be bland like most big burgers in America, but to my surprise the Bully Boy was flavorful. The first bite set free an aromatic cloudy vapor from the patties (think “langhap sarap”) as well as flavorful juices that playfully trickled down my throat even before the first few morsels of meat, bun and veggies were masticated. This is what I love about non-fastfood burgers — the flavor which screams “hey, I am not mass-produced out of a conveyor belt!” Blogger Dencio had the same observation about the Bully Boy’s flavor and juiciness.
As I was gobbling up the last few ounces of the Bully Boy, the vapor was still evident — the patties were still exuding steam mixed with flavorful aroma.
And just like that, Bully Boy was gone. The Bully was schooled, defeated during lunch break, and only the drips of patty and veggie remnants on the tin foil were witness to the fight. However, beef amounting to three-fourths of a pound, loads of veggies and gobs of mayo and catsup in-between Kaiser buns were not enough to satiate me. I had to eat three more slices of pizza to complete my meal.
Off I went back home where the winds are strong and cool, feeling about a pound heavier but determined to search for more Monster Burgers in the country. I know they are out there — burgers weighing more than half a pound, and I will seek them out, gobble them up, defeat them and write about them here.
Maybe you, too, could help me on my quest. I have a list of other Monster Burgers in the Philippines to challenge, but if you know of any in your locality, just write a comment below this story.
And, if you want to pick a fight with the Bully Boy yourself, go to ArmyNavy Burger + Burrito at Maharlika East, Maharlika Highway, Tagaytay (beside Yellow Cab Pizza, near Magallanes Square) or give them a call at (046) 860-2970 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (046) 860-2970 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.
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Going for the pounds, tol. Are you planning to make your own version of Supersize Me?
ehehehe susunod d2 burritos naman
sayang, i was in tagaytay last weekend. i’m also in the lookout for burgers
eh camel burger here in dubai… try it…….
WHAT? No mustard?!!! I hate ketchup! Please pass me the poupon.
There used to be a Ruby Tuesday franchise in Trinoma where I ate one of the best burgers I have ever eaten in the Philippines, although I must say that the Ruby Tuesday burgers in the US are better. I know that there is another Ruby Tuesday somewhere in the Philippines but I have no idea if they are already closed for good too. The burgers @RT set us back P500 each. Not a lot of Filipinos can afford such higly-priced burgers. They are a good size too, unlike the fast food burgers.
Have you tried the BRGR: The Burger Project, the do-it-yourself burger joint?